Friday, July 27, 2012

Our Adoption Story


 December 2, 2008

With four biological children, my husband, Kent, and I were content with our already large family.  However, after his sister and brother-in-law adopted a daughter from China, we began considering whether we could open our home and hearts to another child.  One evening, we decided to go to dinner with just the two of us in order to have uninterrupted time to discuss our decision.  As we were sitting down to eat, we ran into a friend of ours, Dean.   Dean and his wife were in the process of adopting two little girls, sisters, from Ethiopia.  Kent asked him why they decided to adopt.  I will never forget Dean’s response.  He said, “You only get one shot at life. Why wouldn’t we do something that will bless our family in ways we can’t even imagine.”  As we considered his words, our decision became clear!
The next day was Father’s Day.  We decided that, since our decision would affect the lives of our children, we should include them in the decision.  That evening, we gathered the children for a “family council,” and asked each of the children if they wanted to adopt another sibling.  They each said yes, and were all very excited about the idea.  We later learned that, half a world away, our little angel was born that same day in Pune, India.
Our first steps were to select an agency and decide from what country to adopt.  We learned of Holt International from a friend, and called them several times with questions.  They were always helpful, and it felt like a good fit.  For a variety of reasons, we ultimately decided to adopt a little girl from India, and submitted our application on October 4.
Holt’s India Program staff members were invaluable in guiding us through the process.  They introduced us to the India Forum on the Holt website.  That became my life-line over the next year.  At first, the home study seemed daunting.  I cleaned every closet, dusted the blinds and tried to sterilize our sons’ bedrooms.  In the end, it was all unnecessary.  Our social worker was very nice and gave us valuable information about what to expect when we brought the baby home.  As an added bonus, I did have a clean house (at least for a while)!  We submitted the paperwork and were officially “logged-in” on December 20.
With the Application and Home Study complete, our next step was the Dossier.  I initially looked at the three inch thick India Program Guidebook with fear and dread.  With support from the India Forum and help from Mary Reynolds, we took one of the required documents at a time and completed each of them in between soccer and football games, track meets, orthodontist appointments and all of the children’s other activities.  I received many answers and helpful advice from my new cyber-friends on the forum.  Finally on March 25th, the Dossier was complete and sent off to India.
Now the waiting began in earnest.  This was the hardest part, and I found myself checking my email and the forum several times each day with the hope of news from Mary and the India program staff.  I read books on attachment and bonding, cleaned out closets (again) and moved children to new rooms to prepare for the baby.
On May 20, we were preparing to leave for a short vacation to bicycle through Yellowstone National Park with a large group of neighbors and friends.  As we were in our front yard loading bags, bikes and equipment into the cars, the telephone rang.  At first, with all of the commotion, we considered not answering but were glad that we did.  It was Dean Hale from Holt calling to tell us that we received the referral.  We were matched with a darling little girl, only 11 months old, who was diagnosed with hearing loss and other minor medical needs.  Her name was Leena, our angel from India.  As we discussed the referral, we quickly fell in love with the angel we had not yet met, and decided we were equipped to help her with whatever hearing loss or health issues she might have.
As the next phase of paperwork began and we waited while Leena’s application went through the Indian court system, the Forum remained my life-line.  I found myself telling everyone I know about Leena, and even some I don’t know, such as the clerks at the copy and grocery stores.  I felt the need to talk about her and let the world know she was coming.  Everybody was excited to hear about Leena and where we were in the process.  We finally got our approval to travel on November 21st just over thirteen months after we submitted our application.
We were finally on our way to bring our angel home.  Although the travel was long and tiresome, going to the orphanage was a wonderful experience.  The staff there was loving and friendly.  It was fun to hold and play with the children that had heretofore been Leena’s family.  We were able to take our oldest son, who was 16, with us to India.  The children loved playing with him, and he with them.
While we were there, someone e-mailed us a comment that “India touches all of the senses.” We certainly found this to be true, in many different ways. Mostly, it touched our hearts as we enjoyed getting to know Leena.  For obvious reasons, Pune, India will always hold a special place in our hearts.  Our time in India was busy with the court appearance and visa and immigration applications and paperwork.  However, we were able to spend some time learning about and seeing her homeland.  When it was time to return, we were anxious to bring Leena home and introduce her to the rest of her new siblings and extended family.
We landed in the United States on December 2nd.  It took only a few minutes for the customs agent to review Leena’s visa. When he said, "that's it!" I experienced overwhelming emotions yet again. Our Leena was officially cleared to enter the United States and be with our family.
After another, thankfully short, flight, it was finally time for the rest of our children to meet Leena.  We had a wonderful reunion with our children and family at the airport, and it was so fun to introduce Leena and the rest of our family to one another.  As we drove into our neighborhood, many of the neighbors were gathered holding balloons and banners welcoming Leena and us home.
A short while later someone asked Kent and me about the adoption process and whether the paperwork was onerous. We both responded that it really wasn’t too bad. I had to stop myself and laugh. It was just like pregnancy . . . what once seemed unbearable was forgotten now that Leena was ours!
Over the months since our return, we have undergone many more adjustments.  We have had several doctor appointments, hearing tests and medical examinations.  With additional testing and treatment that was available after our return, we were grateful to learn that, although she has had chronic ear infections, her hearing is in fact within normal limits.  Leena is adjusting well to all of the new sites, sounds, foods, her new language and being in a family with so much stimulus and excitement.  She is a cheerful, happy, healthy, adventurous and outgoing child, and has developed a unique relationship with each of her siblings.  We now realize that our friend Dean was right, Leena has blessed our lives in ways we never could have imagined.

May 2012

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